Guts meets Doom Slayer
by Dreamsofiron
Summary: Worlds collide in this epic showdown.
1. Chapter 1

Sunset burned the steel gaze of ancient cursed sword, silent dawn of eldritch wispers in the stygian

halls of time disturbed the monolitich bloody clouds of transcedental dust. The black swordsman beheaded

the ancient demon sending crimson sparks to meet the emerald sea of primodrial earth. He grabbed the

sword like a bronze titan of forgotten days "I do it alone!" he screamed to the iron sky of Odin's pride.

Mountains tramble as he cleaved the skulls of dozen deamons in his blinding ethereal rage.

"Earth weeps the tears of iron, day is beggining of the tyrant!" The swordsman ejaculated gripping

his sword firmly while the green blood of the demon spawn still oozed. "Let sun fall from the sky! Let

oceans burn! We are endless steel. born of galaxy!" The words escaped froom his mouth while he fihed his

emerald orbs on the stygian abyss of toughtless time. But then the world shaken. "Something is amiss!"

he tought with pride of the lightning eagle. From the pits of time and space, like an elder god

crowned in flame, stepped the Doom Slayer to greet him. "Join me brother, let our swords meet!

Together we make worlds!" said the Slayer. "Yes brother become me, I feel you inside me as always!"

answered the Swordsman. From this manly ejaculation came forth the stories of the fine adventure.

"Ride now, brother, ride! We ride the wind and the setting sun tonight!" excreemed the Swordsman.

"Blessed are the brave and the strong, we ride the rainbow of steel!" exclemated the Slayer in return.

They started to decapitete the demon hordes of inner light in orgiastic tornado of blinding steel.

"We are the crows of Odin and wolves of Ragnarok!" enjaculated the Doom slayer like the song of blood

sirens. They were like silver stars and blood moon at the and of time. "Together we stand like

gods before paradise!" coejaculated the Black Swordsman as he gouged the demons sight organs like

amorous bear made from the finest bronze. "Skys smile on us!" erected the Swordsman while thrusting

his sword in the Cthulhu spawns flesh!. "Heavans tremble!" answered the Slayer caught in trance

like flame in the halls of Hades. They raged across the land like two gods of old, killing friend and

fow alike. "Wind, wind give me strenght!" climaxed Black Swordsman. "Worlds burn for us!" continued the

Swordsman.

"We live like kings, we fight, we diw, we live again!" orgasmed the Doom Slayer. " Leave none

alive!" finished the Slayer while covered in demon life flyids. " We are wet from the slaughter!" observed

The Black Swordsman. " Let us embrace each other and change our clothes!" tremored the Slayer like giant

spider from Mars. But then demons attacked like savage dogs in blinding fury, their swords wet with precious

life fluids and their mouths gaping open. "Blood sings in me, witness me blood bags!" rampaged the Slayer

and the Swordsman in unison. "They started cleaving the demons exposed skulls with their mighty and long

swprds, "Dawn may fade, but the light surenders not!" gasped The Swordsman. Sun was halfway across the sky

schorching the bloody earth. "Ragnarok embrace our naked bodies!" they gasped in unison while covered with

dead but stil warm bodies of demons. Hour was late like howling of monstrous witched so they wisited the

tavern for some well earned sustenance. They choked on beer like lions from distant and exotic lands.

But the foul demons didn't gave them peace, they bursted in tavers naked, hot and wet with crimson life

fluids. " Face my wrath!" exscremulated the Black Swordsman like mountain kissing the jade sea.

"Long have I waited for this carnage to unfold!" extremized the Slayer in sweet agony of this mortal coil.

"Anger pours through my weins!" screaminized the Doom Slayer while ruining demons skull with his titan

forged blade. "My blade trembles with vengeance!" gasped the Swordsman like stygian reaper from the

river Styx. "Entropy reigns supreme!" shrieked the demon with his last dying breath in the world of

living. "Take us to your leader!" Gasped the Black Swordsman in manly anger with dissonance. They

reached for the forsaken portal wich transcended them like bronze lightnings to another realm where

souls dwel in eternal unrest.

"This will be our final battle!" ejaculized the Doom slayer in heights of

bloody extasy. They were greeted with final demon, his brain large, his muscles tight. Their swords were

firm in their gasp. Final carnage was in the wind. They leaped as one embracing the infernal destiny.

Light stygian sword edge skull iron flash emerald orb blaze sky crimson doom flyid rage Ragnarok.

"On your knees!" extrapolated the demon like wounded beast grabbing thair wet bloody swords in his

manly gasp. " Oh crul fate, oh all gods, is this the end!" ejactualized the Doom Slayer.

"Do not dispair, son of Ragnarok, we fight, and if we die, we die like kings of old in towers of gold

under the bronze sky!" he continued. "Lets finish it!" ejumulated the Black Swordsman. "Horizon awaits

us!" they both screamed. "To VALHALLA! thay gasped. And the demon was no more, but the slayer was mortally

wounded, such was the cruel Vagnerian fate. "Last goodbyes my comrade!" ejaculated the Black Swordsman

for the one last time, before the stygian angels carried his fallen brother th the realms of eternity.

The Swordsman wiped his tears, there is no time for pain, the sun is rising againg and there is time for

another adventure. But that is the story for another day.

So long for now my readers, may the crystal lights carry you to Ragnarok and to the home of the old gods!


	2. Chapter 2

Divine rays from the dead shell of the weeping cosmos strike the hour of midnight eating the

radiant corpse of the bleak world. "I myst bring back Doom Slayer from the stygian embrace

of the underworld" contemplated the Black swordsman under the fallen silver sky of eternal

colourless light. He walked to the old and almost forgotten statue of Anubis that opened the

gloomy portal that transported him to the outer void of the inner night that led him to

the underworld. His first encounter was with two fat, putrid demons that were member of the

dreaded God Hand, "I already killed one member of the God Hand with the help of my noble

and brooding comrade in arms the Doom Slayer. Step away or face my wrath!" He roared like

steel dragon in the halls of tiamat beyond the ordered universe. "We do not fear you wrench!

We are the demon gods, angels to some, demons to others! It is you who should tremble

before us!" they shrieked like the seven headed beast of the apocalypse. "So be it!" answered

the Swordsman as he leapt into action, his blade erect in his daemon was quickly

beheaded but the other used mental powers to freeze the Black Swordsman like some ancinet

statue cast in bronze. But then suddenly out of nowhere came the blinding flash of steel

that decapitated the second daemon sending his to the dark oblivion in corridors beyond

the space and time where Azathoth reigns supreme. It was the Doom Slayer that striketh the

blow that killed the second daemon and it was his blade that drank his precious life flyids.

"My friend, my brother we meet again! What a glorious ocasion!" articulated the Swordsman.

"Indeed my comrade, we are one again, our naked manly bodies and our thirsty steel swords."

belowed the Slayer.

"It is time that we rescue my girlfriend from the vile paws of the

forsaken daemon spawn!" growled the Black Swordsman. "Why do you care for the mere wrench

when you have me brother, did't our naked bodies collide as one in the heat of battle!"

answered the Doom Slayer. "I can not let the monstrous beast have her brother, she is mine!"

answered the Swordsman. "Wery well, let's go!" grumbled the Slayer with dissatisfaction

on his bruised manly face. They traveled like two giants among men, killing the soulless

demon hordes earth and heaven singing about their immortal glory. When they were near the

climax of their journey they encountered a lusty demoness who was member of the God Hand and

who was blocking their path. "I will tear your naked flesh!" gasped the demoness. "You will

never defile our manhood, you unclean whore!" rasped the Swordsman and the Slayer in unison.

The demoness said nothing more and instead lept forward to attack them but they were

prepared and dodged ther orgiastic attack while thrusting their long wet swords into her

exposed flesh. "Oh cruel fate is this the end of me." gasped the demoness with her last dying

breath, " why has fate forsaken me now" she continued, "what did I spent my life on" she

rasped, "Is this all there is" she orgasmed, "Oh the humanity!" she finished. With that over

they continued on their journey. They were fearless like titans of old remembered in ancient

songs and epic sagas. Finally they reached the final member of the God Hand, a dude in the

shitty batman costume. "Release my beloved girlfriend now you mindless animal!" ejaculated

the Black Swordsman. Demon answered not but flew to meet them in combat, but this time

Doom Slayer was prepared and grabbed his long BFG and used it to blow daemons head clean off.

"My love we meet again!" gasped the girlfriend whimsicoricaly, "Silence wrench men are

talking!" answered the black swordesman. "I tought you loved me!" questioned the girlfriend,

"I do" said the Swordsman, " but my loualty lies with my brother, the Doom Slayer, and his

powerful BFG!" he continued. "Men you are all the same!" gasped girlfriend. The two badasses

laughted hartily and rode of into the sunset.

Stay tuned deer readers as new and awesome adwentures await them, to glory!


	3. Chapter 3

Oh cruel scarlet gaze the world has changed, I can feel it in the earth, I can smell it in the air.

The Icon of Sin and the Idea of Evil joined as one to torment this empty wrenched universe under

the whispering steel sky. The Black Swordsman opened a secret portal in the gates of silver sleep

that carried him and his comrade to the bleak world of the living. Winter was upon the land and

the daemons were howling in the stygian night. "Brother we must push harder, for glory!"

ejactualized the Doom Slayer. "Indeed my deer old friend, fate hangs on us!" erectulated the

Black Swordsman. Their ejaculation was interrupted by the fearsome Cyber Daemon crowned in

darkness and flame and standing erect before them. Back in the gloomy pits of the underworld they

excanged their old sword for the new BFG chainlaser death sabres, it was time they put them to the

test. They leap into action hacking of the beasts muscular arms before it could react. With one

swift move the fearless Black Swordsman cleaved the demons skull sending the shower of crimson

gore to meet cold icy earth creating the picturesque scene of bloodsplattered carnage. They knew

that they need a space ship to get to the Steel Skull nebula where the monstrous Icon of sin and

it's vile partner Idea of Evil reside. The ancient baroque space ship was guarded by the Spider

Demoness the corpse mother of all daemon spawn. They redied their laser swords to meet the

infernal animal. "By the blood stained beard of Odin!" echoed their piercing hoarse battel cries.

The beast had no time to react and they impaled it's sight organs with their wet flaming laser

swords. The victory was theirs. They entered the cursed ship silently paying homage to the all

seeing eye of Odin.

To the star they ascend, stay tuned deer readers for galaxies will burn with them!


	4. Chapter 4

Alone they traveled throygh the void, embracing each other in the fevered destiny. "We are almost

there, climax is at hand!" gasped the Black Swordsman. "The dreaded nebula awaits us!" answered

the Doom Slayer. They landed thir old monolithic ship before the palace of the nameless sin in

the stygian halls of death where Idea of Evil and the Icon of sin await for them lustfuly.

"Embrace the Wagnerian destiny of the dying world as a blood flower!" extremed the Slayer. They

grabbed the BFG machine guns that fire soul nukes and that were just laying there. "It is time

my brother!" exejaculated the Swordsman. They entered the silend halls disturbing the silver

fog of the bygone aeons. And then out of nowhere the blasphemous fusion of the Icon of Sin and

the Idea of Evil appeared before them, It was the formless Idea of Sin! "Hold my hand brother!"

gasped the Slayer. "There is no time for that, let's rock!" belowed the Swordsman. "HAHAHA foolish

mortals, you cant defeet us, nothing can!" roared the Idea of Sin. "You plagued this universe for

too long wretch!" climaxed the Slayer and the Swordsman in unison. They started firing their

vepons in the abominations exposed brein. "Oh no, cruel mercifull fate, it is our only weakness!"

tremored the abomination. "But if we must die we will take universe with us!" roared the

Idea of Sin!". "It is going to explodered the universe!" gasped the Slayer. "We will give our

lives to prevent this!" orgasmed the Swordsman.

Then in this final hour they flung theit manly, oiled, naked bodies at hte creature preventing

it from destroying the universe. "For Glaory! For Odin! To Ragnarok!" echoed their proud last

words in the wells of eternity.

The evil was no more and the universe was saved. But at what price. Two fine warriors extingueshed

forever. Their songs , their herculean bodies, oh the humanity! Oh cruel Wagnerian destiny why

hast thou be so cruel!

People erected a monument in their honor, like a tower piercing the heavens. The proud words on

the monument said: GET A ROOM ALREADY!


	5. Chapter 5

Parchment blaze set fire to the cthulhoid forgotten dream. They were trapped in another dimension

after their valiant sacrifice. They were alone, alone and naked like the somber promise of

abominable desolation of eternal spring of mankind. "What do we do!" gasped the Slayer. " we will

find the way out of this place!" roared the swordsman destroying a third world nation with the

power of his raw, manly woice. But then the silence was broken, before them stood erect the

Morgoth, dark titan of aeons gone by. They redied their bloodthirsty laser swords that thirsted

for blood. "Attack!" they ejacylated. The beast was unable to dodge their swifth attacks and

they quickly freed its loathsome head from its cyclopean shoulders.

Darkness draws near. They sensed some primeval evil aproaching. "Braces yourself!" climaxed the

Swordsman. It was Ungoliant, the blood mother of all apiders. She attacked quickly and menaged

to wound the proud Sworsman. "Aaaaaarrrggghhh!" climaxed the Slayer as he impled the creatures

head on his large, manly sword killing it in process. "Are you all right, my brother!"

rasped the Slayer with tear in his eye. "It is just a scratch, I got no time to bleed!" growled

the Swordsman. They traveled the strange land alone, fighting and killing in the name of

Odin.

When they reached the gates of veiled nightmare they noticed the cyber dagon blocking their

path like the thing that blocks paths! "Grraaaawwrr!" ejacylated the Cyber dagon. "For Odin!"

answered the Swordsman and the Slayer. Slayer chopped Dagons arm roaring like the manly lion in

heat. Slayer moved like wounded panther and menaged to pierce creatures eye with his long, wet

sword. The beast was dead! "We stained the battelfield with blood, but the cthulhu awaits as now!"

gasped the Slayer. "Fear not my brother, you are with me!" answered the Swordsman!

They entered the palace, swords erect in their strong arms. "Who disturbs my slumber!" agonized

Cthulhu like a sleepless night. "We come to bne your end, thesaurus is with us!" climaxed

the Slayer and the Swordsman in unison "Werywell." answered Cthulhu, but they did not give him

time to react, fusing thair laser swords into one long pillar of flame they implaed his brain

sending his green, acidic blood to meet the dusty floor of the cursed palace.

"Wedidit!" they screamed! " Not so fast!" rasped the mysterious voice in the dark. They realized

that it was the dreaded Shub-Niggurath. This enemy was beyond them so they begged Odin to turn

them into gods. The wise old god smiled and granted them their request. With their newfound

strenght they hacked the abomination into pieces.

In their manly bloodlust they flew into space hacking the pathetic xeno planets and killing

the soulless xeno scum. "These xenos sure are weak mouth breathers!" ejacylated the Swordsman

like crystal elephant in the house of gold. But then they faced even more deadly foe, it was

Yog-Sothoth. Summoning their emerald glory they chopped the beasts brain in half. "HUMANITY!"

roared the Swordsman to meet the forsaken night. "Riddle of steel!" climaxed the slayer, still

naked and wet from the battel.

They cleaved the galaxies in half in their godly amorous lust, killing gazillions of weaklings in

process.

But noe even greater adventures await them, who will they butcher next in their new godlike forms.

Live, kill then live again! To Glory!


	6. Chapter 6

Singing storm forged blades cleaved through the outer core of alien planets. The Slayer and the Swordsman

enjoyed their newfound powers to the extreme! Odin was pleased like a fox while scratching his blood soaked

beard, he decided to fuse his noble spirit with them aloving them to trendscend time and space.

But the danger was awaiting them in the misty crooked corridors of this stygian universe. The daemon

sultan Azathoth has collided with probe that collided with god creating an unstable multiversal primodrial

destructor.. "To glory, Valhalla awaits! our brave heroes finished in unison. They pulverised the creatures

large exposed brain, drowning universe in gore. Then they grabbed vepons that fire burning galaxies

and obliterated the beast not giving it time to react.

Their naked herculean bodies tensed in whimsichorical delight at the slaughter they just took part in.

But the battel was still not won! In the forseken Nebula the Black Beast of Aaargh awaited them with lusty

eyes! "Embrace me love of death!" ejaculated the Swordsman.

They rediaed their big, manly vepons because the battel was about to comens! The creature lunged toward them

ragefully but they dodged the attack at the last minute. Oh the humanity what will happen next the excitement

is killing me! Fear not deer reader coz they made it. Striking the killing blood at the monsters week spot.

"Battel is over!" climaxed the Swordsman. But then the impossible happened and Odin himself welcomed them

in the halls of Ragnarok to fight the horde! Truly there is no greated honor! Live, die and rise to fight!

Stay tuned for the prequel!


	7. Chapter 7

Prequel:DARK CHAPTER

Misty clouds scorched the desolate sky. Bleak winds of abominable thesaurus tormented the bleeding

wounds of universe. There came Guts, then just a mere boy, to dance on the jewels of earthly kingdoms

beneath his mighty feet.

His past was dark, demons rap battled him. Oh crul shell of cosmos why arst thou so cruel! In the forests

of time he met a demon. "My first kill." he thinkered to him self in his brooding angst. The creature

leapt forvard to attack him. He redied his sword to meet the grotesque beast. With one swift blow he

released the creatures head from it's shoulders, showering the serene grass in crimson life flyids. " To

glory!" he roared to challenge the jade sky!

Then he meat the dark knight who challenged him to a duel! "I'm Batman!" gasped the knight. "So be it

wrench!" rasped the young Swordsman. With his blade of blinding steel Guts cleaved his opponents skull.

"I need to find the wise old master to begin my training!" roared the Swordsman.

In the center of the forest he met his new teacher, a wise old man. "You are wise beyond your ears child!"

gasped the old man. "Quit the flattering, let's begin my training!" growled the young Swordsman.

"Very well child, find the demon army to the north and spill their unholy blood, go now go to glory!"

rasped the wise man.

Guts knew his mission, he walked north until he meat the army of demons. "He is going to kill us!" said

the demons. But the Swordsman did not listen to them and instead started hacking left and right until

all the demonbs were dead.

He brought the head of the largest demon to his noble master. But the wise old man was stil not pleased.

"What is 2 - 2?" the old man asked. "1000" answered the young Swordsman. "You are corect, go now I am

teach you ewerything!" spoke the old man whimsicoricaly. "Thanks master I will never forget you!"

rasped Guts.

The swordsman was alone again, now he encountered an even grater demon army, he roared mad with bloodlust.

Cleaving skulls and hacking the cthulhoid spawn to peaces he knew that glory awaits him. when he was done

he rode of to the setting sun.

Many adventures await him, but you already know that story, stay tuned for the other prequel!


	8. Chapter 8

Prequel:DOOM

Doom Slayer waited, cold winds were blowing above his cyclopean head. There were daemons in the base, stalking

the dark corridors of crimson hell. He did not see them but he expected them always as shadows of his brooding

past. Tremors in core of his animalistic mind called forth the resolution og steel. "Forward to Valhalla!"

he rasped , tensing his herculean muscles.

With the strenght of the unchained bear he cleaved the brain daemon in two. "Who may challenge me!" he roared.

He dismembered several more daemons sending their acidic blood to meet the earth like dark ale of the wind.

"Fight to the death!" he growled with internal brooding angst.

He decapitated the giant deamon sending the rivers of gore to kiss the gray solitude of the floor. "Let none

survive!" he ejaculeted with pride of an lion.

But then the mists of space disturbed the corridors of time opening a scarlet portal and sending him to the

realm of berserk, the land of steel and fine adventure. But you already know that story my deer readers. And

thus concludes our epic like the blinding edge of the sword! Go now to Valhalla! To GLORY! The war awaits us!


	9. Chapter 9

Eloquent elaborations encircled the vapid mind of lost consciousness. Storm was approaching fast.

They were alone in space, having conquered every foe their naked bodies wet and warm from the

slaughter. Alone they embraced each other, bathed in blood of countless worlds and filthy xeno

abominations. But peace won't give them rest! And the portal opened in serene ordered universe

spewing forth the unnumbered horrors of the cyber beavers. "Let this be our final battle." orgasmed

the Slayer still wet from life fluids of the fallen adversaries.

They proceded to hack and slash the vile horde until nothing remained but blood and lost hope of the

fallen light. "Victory! Sweet crimson blood on my lips by the Odin's beard." eclipsed the ejaculating

Swordsman vigorously. But like the shadow of Morgoth in the days long past the Great Mother

of the Beavers appeared before them, firm and erect was her gaze and the stars were singing

silently of her elder glory.

"Praise Odin! Let our naked bodies sing with joy of the teardrop!" screamejected the Salyer and the

Swordsman in unison. Brave was their fight and their hard, naked bodies were covered in thick manly

sweat of joyous carnage. In the end the victory was theirs and the gods smiled in the halls

of Ragnarok.

But the fate is morbid trickery. And they found themselfs sucked into the eldritch portal and into

the stygian abyss of the blackest night.

In the end their lustful eyes observed the new universe and they found that the fate has stripped

them of their powers. Now they must fight from the beggining like shadows of ancient thunder.

What will future bring stay and find out.


	10. Chapter 10

Skies cry in their eldritch monumental glory for our hearth wrenching heroes. Pale light falls on their rugged faces as they

observe this new scornful world. Shadows dance like elder demons in the emerald light of the green sun. "Titanium balls heavens

weep!" articulated the noble Slayer. And in that decisive moment the Swordsman has decided to slay 50 bears with his bare hands.

"Yeah piece of cake!" whispered the Swordsman like the orgasm of the stygian goddess. "Who rules this wretched land."

asked the Swordsman in lonely necropolis voice. "It is I the great beaver queen" said the fell voice in the wind. "We will destroy you

filthy wrench!" words escaped the slayers mouth in tone of passive aggression. And so they embarked on the mission to slay

the beaver queen. Guards awaited them outside of the monolithic castle. Using their sheer muscles they pulverized their skulls

bathing their naked bodies in escaping life fluids. "Surrender now bitch or we will taste your precious fluids." circled the Swordsman

silently. Like dark shamans they approached the inner chamber illuminated only by stygian light of the netherworld.

"MOTHER OF MERCY" roared the slayer in extrapolated agony of inner beauty.. "My claws thirst for your fluids!" echoed the beaver

queen in her darkened gaze. But the heroes of steel leapt in action and with their fists alone smashed her foul brain.

Silence fell on the land drinking from the fountain of wisdom. They prayed to Odin for guidance. As they crept they found

the secret chamber with some vepons and supplies. After drinking their share of lifes embrace they left the castle and went to wander

the bleak land alone.

Stay tuned for more heroic tales from the edge of sanity...


	11. Chapter 11

It was in those days, in those long forgotten days, that the mighty titan whose body oozes raw male power and untamed

virility and whose name is known to the mortals only as the dreaded Doom Slayer fell in love with the sensuous and seductive

nymph from the realms unseen. "How can you love a mere woman and not me your brother of fire and steel!" pleaded

the Black Swordsman his brave companion but his disdainful cries fell on deaf years because the Slayer was smitten

with the unchallenged phantasmagoric beauty of the nature spirit. But little did he knew that the wrench planned to suck his

male virility all along. One last time he cried in voices unheard of before his untimely demise for the nymph was in fact

a monstrous space time anomaly that was sucking the male virility from this new wretched universe.

Long has the Black Swordsman cried the tears of remorseless sorrow but in the bitter end he let out a piercing cry and

summoned the heroes from the days of yore. The Brave lord Duke Nukem and the mighty master Quake Guy.

"Come now my brothers, I call you now for my brother, my platonic love, the Doom Slayer is now the worms of the earth.

We must destroy this vile anomaly and bring him back to the pale land of the living under the gray moonlight."

"Eye brother let us go." ejaculated the Duke and Quake in unison.

It was time at last and they fused into one mighty conglomeration of tight muscle and pure manly glory. With their newfound

strength they attacked the morbid anomaly.

Battle was fierce but in the end their glory prevailed and the Doom Slayer was returned to this new universe once more.

"Forgive me brother for seeking the love of the wrench, I was a foolish thing." pleaded the Doom Slayer. "I accept your

apology with pure heart my brother." answered the Black Swordsman.

And so they lived to see another day, stay tuned for stygian hells await us all!


	12. Chapter 12

Like haughty leviathans farts escaped from Doom Slayers herculean but ruined ass. "Eldritch prayer weeping angles cry."

he agonized egregiously. "But what happened to your noble behind my friend." inquired the Black Swordsman his comrade

in arms. "I was impregnated by the foot of blinding steel and now I carry in my manly body a doomsday fetus!" combusted

the Doom Slayer his words spliced with unnumbered sorrows. "Odin and his devils!" gasped the Black Swordsman

almost fainting from the raw tension in his muscles. "My son will be called Doomus Maximus child of magick, it is his

destiny to murder the world." envisioned the Doom Slayer lethargically. But then in an almost lovecraftian fashion

death came swirling down in form of the elite cosmic beaver horror unit. "Worry not my platonic lave I will protect you and

your unborn child." echoed the Black Swordsman sardonically. The beavers were swiftly dealt with and the field of battle

was painted with gore. "We must seek the wise man he will tell us what we must do." resented the Doom Slayer through clenched

teeth.

And so like titan clouds of Orion Gama 5 they sailed on the seas of fate until they found the timeless house where

the wise man lives. "Only the kiss of the true platonic love can turn the baby Doomus Maximus to good." silenced

the wise man loudly. "Then fear not for I alone am his platonic love." artisticulated the Black Swordsman with his eyes

staring at the jade dust of multiversal amoebas. And kissed they did and the baby Doomus born through sorcerous

powers was born, and the worlds trembled.

"We are truly lucky to have each other my platonic love." estimated the Doom Slayer with stars in his eyes.

"Eye my friend lucky we are."

Happy new ear!


	13. Chapter 13

Come hither lonesome travelers to the yonder gate of Ishtar let us tread the sandals of this world with our jeweled feet.

"We are like giants standing on shoulders of even bigger giants." echoed the Black Swordsman enthusiastically.

"Why are you ignoring me. Back in the olden days we used to laugh and slay demons together, but now we are distant and strange." murmured the Doom Slayer.

"Silence my steel brother I am the man in the house." roared the Black Swordsman whimpsically.

Scared by his dreadful worlds the baby Doomus Maximus starts to cry bitter tears of silence.

"Look what you did you made our son cry you big bully." gasped the Doom Slayer with brooding eyes in the dark.

"Silence you vapid wrench, I am a man and I have an authority in this house." angryed the Black Swordsman wholesomely.

"Your authority is quite small dear." said the Doom Slayer with sardonic smile.

(Audience laughs)

"Silence wrench I work at the shoe store and put the bread on the table!" immortalized the Black Swordsman.

"Still working at the shoe store I see." whispered the Doom Slayer sarcastically.

(Audience laughs)

"That's it womyn I'm gonna whoop you ass." solemnized the Black Swordsman.

Baby Doomus Maximus starts crying again.

"Look what you did are you happy now I'm going to join the Eco Feministas you brute." weeped the Doom Slayer with tender tears.

(Audience cries)

"Go then don't let the door stop you." screamed the Black Swordsman silently.

And so the baby Doomus Maximus was sent to the orphanage.

And the little Doomus grew up to become and edgelord who listens to industrial metal and wears army pants.

Doomus visits his parents.

"I hate you mom and dad!" Doomus says with dark implications.

(Audience laughs)

"But we always loved you son and wanted what is best for you." cries the Doom slayer before the gods.

(Audience laughs)

"You abandoned me and now I am go to keel you!" evoked the Doomus Maximus.

"Noooooooo!" gasped the Slayer and the Swordsman in unison.

The bitter Doomus killed them and the pain was searing and the light was blinding.

And they were dead.

"What have I done." madened the Doomus Maximus in his abusmal solitude.

Velvet storm clouds gathered and carried our heroes to the halls of Ragnarok where the brave live forver.

"Where are we my platonic love." inquired the Doom Slayer.

"We are in warrior heaven with the angels now but our child is alone in the world." Black Swordsman stretched his arms in lonely shadow.

The black swordsman spotted a lusty Valkyrie.

"Wow there sexy momma." rasped the Swordsman.

"How can you forsake me my platonic love." the Doom Slayer smacked him with a frying pan.

"I'm sorry dear I'm sorry." said the Black Swordsman.

(Audience laughs)

And so many ears passed but after the long time their son Doomus Maximus grew borred and decided to summon the beasts of apocalypse.

But Odin was prepared and summoned the Slayer and the Swordsman back to the world of the living like teardrops of the moonlight rose.

"It appears that our son has aged but we are still the same, what wizardry is this." said the Doom Slayer.

"Fear not my platonic darling we will defeat him and prevent the coming armaggedon." shined the Black Swordsman with pride.

And so the battle begins stay tuned for more...


	14. Chapter 14

Malignant conjurations awoke the cunning incantations to face the abominations of desolation.

Warrior poets dance like mad whirlwind in the halls of kaleidoscope eyes. "By gods we arrived just

in time!" the Black Swordsman says like verbose thesaurus from the dreamlike era gone by.

"Fear not my platonic love I watch your back." the Doom Slayer uttered in stern and uncompromising

way but he was interrupted by the sound of the eldritch horror from beyond the stars being summoned

into our realm. The squamous thing flopped with gilded feathers on it's bloated body as it slided

into our sane universe from it's insane universe. The Doomus Maximus laughed wildly.

"You can still stop this my son be reasonable!" shouted Doom Slayer in dismal serenity. "It is you

who have abandoned reason father. I will rule this place as a king." Doomus grimaced like some

terror from half forgotten dream. "There will be nothing to rule son. Only ashes will remain." incinerated

the Black Swordsman with princely courage. "Then I will be the king of ashes!" roared the Doomus Maximus

his voice foul in the soft winds. "So be it. Come Slayer we must fuse to defeat this horror." ejected

the Black Swordsman with no small regret. And so our heroes fused and the halls of time echoed

with their endless mirth. With their fearsome broadsword they hacked at the cursed thing but the

monster kept attacking with soulless frenzy. Using the last resorts of their strength they cleaved the

beasts skull sending torrents of blood to feed this parasitic cosmos. And so the abomination retreated

to it's own dimension leaving our heroes alone with their treacherous son. And the poor Doomus cried

bitter tears and regretted his dark intentions but the summoning was done and he had to pay

the price and so he become the barrier guardian protecting our universe from the horrors of

beyond. "Goodbye son we will come to visit you from time to time we promise." radiated our heroes

with steel glory. "I hate you dads." Doomus said his last goodbye. "We know son we know."

our heroes answered. And so the peace was there at last but at what cost! Dark lamentations fell

upon the land. Our brave champions returned to the halls of Ragnarok to drink and fight and be merry.

But the fate will call them again some day stay tuned for more adventures await.


	15. Chapter 15

Morning. Cursed flesh weeps. Shadows of the sun behead the moonlight. On gentle clouds our heroes float to Valhalla.

Their naked bodies relaxed and at peace. Their hearts full of cosmic balance. Morning breathes. Air fills their lungs they dream. Rings

of fire kiss the dim horizon. Bathed in the fields of light they fly. Closer and closer to the heart of the ancient sun.

Cosmos is not only their destination but their destiny. Their sculpted bodies devour the shade. Titans of light. Morning of solitude.

Alone at last. Last of their kind, warriors, gods, primordial spheres who forge their own destiny. Like serpents of Odin they dance at

the very end of time. Stars like jewels, nameless and distant. Their embrace eternal. Everlasting. Oh gods can't you see their glory.

Can't you witness their rage of ages. They whisper the names of the fallen giants. Kissed by bleeding rays of light they dance.

And so their joyful laughter fills the void. And the void is no longer empty. They are one. The perfect being. The beast of billion

backs. Like gentle doves they cry tears of triumph. Now they are alone at last...


	16. Chapter 16

Like velvet glove touching an open wound the ultimate enemy awoke. He came riding on his ass for he was the humble nameless

one, the giant space hamster from hell. His ass was talking to him in High Elven song language. Oh what a glorious day to die!

Our heroes jumped from their serene slumber in Valhalla and grabbed the great omniversal BFGs given to them by Odin

himself in his starry wisdom. They materialized on the earthly plane and started firing multiverse missiles at the abominable

hamster. But he cared not for such foolishness. "We must go to the omniverse gamma!" growled the Slayer energetically. "But folks

are queer up there!" protested the Swordsman. "It's our only hope my platonic love!" enchanted the Slayer like elvish maiden with

flowers in her hair. "So be it my platonic darling!" enriched the Swordsman hopelessly. In the grim and silent omniverse gamma

they found the ultimate weapon, the dark cosmic slingshot of light! "It is a beauty to behold!" they both ejaculated at the same

time filling their lungs with peace. And so with pious grace they fired the weapon and the beast was dead, but for their sins they were

both reincarnated into separate omniverses as turtles. "We will find the way together, my platonic love!" forlorned the slayer screaming

across the time and space. "Always together!" answered the Swordsman.

As turtles they slaughtered lions and climbed the mountains for nothing can separate two angels for long. And after a decade of searching

they found the bleak portal that joined them once more! "Oh joy my platonic love!" hardened the Slayer like a diamond. "Now we

must find a way to turn to humans again." agitated the Swordsman with great care. After years and years of searching and what seamed

like an eternity thay found their goal the white fountain. And so they drank from the fountain felling the strongth welling in their bodies.

And they were whole again. But now it was time to return to Valhalla but that is the story for another day...


	17. the end

"Womb, it bleeds! It bleeds!" screamed the

Swordsman, almost in some kind of entropy, as saliva oozed from his slithering mouth.

A pitch black gauntlet of shadows danced in bacchanalian fashion filling the room with putrescence of the

open see. Like an dying swan spreading his wings for one last time Slayer methodologically encircled the

sadomasochistic half sardonic life force that was emanating from his nipples.

"Air becomes stone, silence is a brick." slaughtered the Swordsman in his eldritch engorged whimsy.

"You are hollow man. Heed my warning shepherd." castrated the Slayer softly with penetrating hammer fist

of mediocre economy.

"You the cancer. You the God's eyes!" fountain of wisdom opened in Swordsman's rugged embrace like rough

hands of a peasant girl touching velvet for the first time.

Nights in black satin. Days of emerald jade.

Seven billion eternities flew like seven hours of unearthly pleasure. Hidden... hidden behind the curtain of pale roses...

NO END?


End file.
